“Sarah, before I die, I would like to see your name(byline) on the newspaper,” my then 72-year-old father told me after I graduated from college in 2002.

Twenty-two years later, I have not fulfilled my father’s wish. Newspapers have become absolete, and my now 94-year-father is blind. I should be off the hook, right? And, yet, it does not lessen the feeling I have of being a failure.

But how did I get to such a point? I have to start from the beginning.

My love for sports began when I was eight years old. I developed this silly childhood crush on Jose Canseco of the Oakland A’s (Major League Baseball team). This led me to fall in love with the Oakland A’s and the game of baseball, which then led me to explore and love other sports like football, basketball, tennis, boxing, gymnastics, track, swimming, and many more. Sports became a huge part of my childhood identity.

I did not have the privilege of attending many sporting events in person growing up. My family didn’t have the financial means. This didn’t deter me, though, from falling in love with sports. I would watch games on television, listen to many of them on the radio, I would read newspapers and magazines. Before the birth of social media, I spent countless hours in the chat rooms of America On-Line(AOL) discussing or, rather, strongly debating with other male sports fans about whose team was better and who was going to win. And the funny thing is, they never knew they were chatting with a young teenage girl. I even recall calling the local sports radio station KNBR several times to speak with the radio hosts, but I never got through! The call takers would always ask me, “How old are you, and do your parents know you are calling?” Darn.. how did they know?

My love for sports led me to pursue a degree in journalism. My dream? I wanted to be the beat writer for the Oakland A’s. (A beat writer is a journalist who specializes in and writes about a specific topic.) My first baseball game at the Oakland Coliseum didn’t come until I was a teenager. The next game after that wouldn’t be until I was in college; I would watch many games by myself sitting near the bullpen in section 125. I loved baseball. Actually, it was the Oakland A’s who I really loved.

My stint in the journalism field was short-lived. I did gain TV broadcasting/producing experience with CNN San Francisco and KTVU – Fox 2. I conducted post-game interviews with athletes and helped with news gatherings and scripts; the experience was invaluable.

It was also hard, especially being a woman of color in a field dominated by men. Opportunities were very few. I can count the number of female journalists I knew of during that time period, with one hand: Hannah Storm, Robin Roberts, Leslie Visser, Gayle Gardner, and the only sports columnist I knew of- Ann Killion of the San Jose Mercury News, who I admired and wanted to be.

I even remember a time I was in the media room of the Golden State Warriors, and a male reporter asked me, “What are you doing here?”

Despite the challenges, being in the field was still fun, and I learned much! But the fun really stopped after realizing there was no money in the field. You only stay in because you are passionate about it. And if I wanted to be a sports writer, I had to move to smaller towns, out of state, just to get my feet into the door. But suddenly, finding myself alone with my son to raise, I left my first love in search of a more practical and higher-earning career. I didn’t stop pursuing my childhood dream; my dream just changed, you can say. I became a mom.

Fast forward to 2024, I found myself feeling giddy like that 8-year-old girl again. But this time, the target of my silly infatuation was for Lee Gwanhee, a veteran shooting guard playing in the Korean Basketball League. (He’s also the subject of a few blogs.) I don’t know exactly what it was that drew me to him. Maybe it was because he’s 36 and still chasing his championship dream, and it reminded me of my own childhood dream that I have not fulfilled.

Lee Gwanhee also has his own personal blog, and it actually influenced me to start my own. Sure, it’s not the New York Times, but it still allows me the platform to write. I have to start somewhere, even if it means starting small.